


Nobody Knows My Sorrow

by MsChaos



Category: August: Osage County (2013)
Genre: Depression, Drama, Family Drama, Mental Breakdown, Self-Harm, Some angst, Suicide Attempt, Trigger Warnings, nothing graphic, talks of suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:55:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29579214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsChaos/pseuds/MsChaos
Summary: The fallout of Violet Weston's reveal of who is Little Charles' true father has affected the relationship between Ivy and Little Charles's life which resulted in some dire consequences.*Mentions of suicide, mental health issues, and self harm. Nothing graphic! But please, heed the warnings if this stuff is triggering for you!
Relationships: Little Charles Aiken/Ivy Weston





	Nobody Knows My Sorrow

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a while since I've seen the movie. Tbh, I only watched it for Benedict Cumberbatch who was incredibly sweet as Little Charles Aiken, completely different from the other roles he's played. This fic came about when I came upon some clips from the movies between his character and Ivy and it got me thinking of how the big reveal *SPOILER ALERT!* of Little Charles and Ivy being brother and sister(well, half but still) must have affected them mentally especially since they were dating and starting to get serious. Even when they thought they were cousins which is weird to me. But still it's gotta fuck them up somehow given who their mothers are. So this my version of exploring the end of that movie after that truth between these two characters.  
> This fic will be short but I still hope you will like it.

“Little Charles is in the hospital.” Came Mattie Fae’s voice through the phone’s receiver.

Ivy’s world stopped. “What?”. She knew she should have never answered the damn phone.

“It’s pretty serious.” Ivy felt confused. Sher felt her mouth open to speak but couldn’t make any sound come out. There was a pause and then Mattie Fae’s spoke again,

“I just… thought you should know.” The line went dead.

Ivy stood there for a moment in stunned silence. She still held the phone in her hand she realized and then gently placed back onto the receiver. She didn’t know what to say or what to think. She should have asked what happened. If he was alright? Why was he in the hospital? Her mind then shifted to guilt as a knot formed in her stomach.

_"Oh my God,"_ she thought. _"It was me."_ She was the reason why.

She hadn’t spoken to Little Charles in two weeks. Ever since she had learned the truth. She had purposely avoided him at all cost. She couldn’t deal, not when she had to learn how to come to terms about their relationship. She remembered that she had left her mother’s home that day, heartbroken and in tears when she discovered that Little Charles was her brother. She felt so ashamed and disgusted. Not just at herself but at her mother who kept this secret from her and from everyone their whole lives. And Barbra, she knew. Her own sister knew and never told her. She supposed that this could be payback for not telling anyone about her hysterectomy but keeping this secret was low, even for Barbra. Why would Ivy be surprised? Barbra was just like their mother. She went back to her place after that disastrous lunch and hid in her bedroom. She cried and cried and cried until she felt like she had no more tears to spare. Soon, she heard the phone ringing but ignored it. She felt exhausted, emotionally, and physically. She didn’t have the strength to leave her bed let alone have a conversation with someone. It didn’t matter how short it would be. She also didn’t want to deal with anyone. Possibly ever again. People just end up hurting you. Especially family which was a cut that hurt the deepest.

After a while the phone had stopped ringing, only to have her answering machine be picked up.

“Hello, Ivy? It’s me, Little Charles.” Came his voice through the speaker.

Ivy felt her heart constrict at the sound of Little Charles’ voice. She turned her head and tried to bury it into her pillow to drown it out. He was the last person she wanted to speak with. She wanted to get up and turn the machine off, but she didn’t have the strength.

“I hope everything is alright,” he went on. No, everything was not alright, she wanted to scream out. God, she hated his voice.

“I’m waiting for you at the bus depot. I hope you haven’t changed your mind about New York.”

He sounded so worried and hopefully at the same time. She could feel more tears rising in her already raw throat. She wished she could go back before all this. Before she knew the truth. She had been at her happiest when she was with Little Charles. He was her light in a world of darkness and she was his hope in a world of hopelessness. But that connection was broken now by the ugly truth of her fucked up family. But if they were fucked up, then she was just as fucked up as the rest of them. In her living room, Little Charles kept talking in that calming tone of his from the speaker of the machine. He would hold her and speak to her so sweetly whenever she was worried until her fears disappeared. She felt so safe in his arms. His voice reminded her of those times but now it made her mad. She couldn’t take it anymore. She had enough.

She gathered all her strength to pick herself up from her bed and stormed into the living room and picked up her phone, cutting off Little Charles’s message.

“Don’t ever call here again. I don’t love you anymore.”

She slammed the phone down hard back into its cradle. It felt so good. She picked up the entire phone and threw it across the room. It landed on the floor with a loud clang. It felt good but it didn’t make her feel any better. Her knees suddenly gave away as if they no longer had any strength and she fell to the floor. She started sobbing once again. First, she cried over the cruelness of her mother, her sister and how that cruelness that seemed to have infected her family. It was like they were capable of nothing but being vicious to everyone. Including those who are their kin. Her mother kept this secret from her and then took away the one thing that made her happy in this God forsaken family. Her mother almost seemed delighted of sharing this secret. It was like she was waiting for a moment like this so she could come out on top. Then Ivy began crying for the second time for another reason. She realized that she too had inherited this meanness from her mother. And she directed it at the one person who loved her and shown her love. She yelled at Little Charles and told him that she didn’t love him when in fact she still did. Because she wanted to feel better. She wanted to throw her anger at someone, and Little Charles was the one who was the closest. She really was fucked up. Since the day she had learned the truth, she hardly left her apartment. She barely ate or spoken to anyone. Not even her family because let's be honest? Who would want to? They were the last people on earth to show any kind of support. So Ivy remained in her apartment, shutting out the world for almost two weeks until that phone call and when Uncle Charles showed up.

She didn’t know how long she sat in her living room after the phone call from Mattie Fae. Her mind had drifted off to wherever to escape the pain. It was something she had learned to do when she had cancer. The days where she was reminded of how her life was on the thin line between life and death, she learned to switch off and "go somewhere else" where death couldn't touch her and focused on herself getting better and beating cancer. After Mattie Fae's phone call, she didn’t want to think about Little Charles or what danger he might be in. She was trying to heal, and this phone call just opened that wound. She must have sat on her couch for hours. Until Uncle Charles walked in. She had forgotten to lock her door. She didn’t look up when Uncle Charles walked in and ignored him when he called out her name. She didn’t even look up when he sat next to her on the couch. She kept her head down as if she were a child after being caught doing something shameful. In a way, she had done something shameful. 

“Ivy?” She heard him say, his voice was gentle.

Ivy spoke after a long silence, “Mattie Fae called.” She said, quietly.

“I know.” Uncle Charles said, still gentle.

“How is he?”

“He’s um… doing better.” He said, slowly as if he’s trying to find the right words.

Ivy’s mouth opened to speak again but the question she wanted to ask didn’t want to come out until she had to force it. “What happened?”

She had a feeling what happened.

Uncle Charles shifted in his seat. He was struggling to say what happened. He took a deep breath.

“He, um…” His voice was rasp from tears that wanted to shed so he cleared it, “He… cut his wrists.”

Ivy squeezed her eyes shut and wrapped her arms tighter around herself. It was like a stab to her stomach.

“He was in the bathroom and I, um…” Uncle Charles trailed off, unable to finish. She could hear the tears that formed in his voice. But she knew what he was trying to say. He was the one who found Little Charles.

“He left a note.” She heard him sniff and cleared his throat again. “He explained why he did what he did. Because he… he learned the truth.”

So, Uncle Charles now knows too. No doubt soon everyone in the family will know. Not just about this but about everything. Guilt suddenly weighed down on her.

“I’m so sorry.” She whispered, tearfully.

“It wasn’t your fault.” Uncle Charles quickly replied.

“Yes, it was.”

“No, it wasn’t.”

“He called here, and I was cruel.”

“Ivy, do not blame yourself.”

“You must think we’re disgusting-“

“Ivy. Stop.” Uncle Charles said, firmly. He took her hand in his and grasped it lightly. She finally turned to look at him, surprised by his gentleness.

“You didn’t know. None of us did.”

“But I feel so ashamed.” She choked on a sob. “In a way I’m glad I found out before it was too late. I mean, can you imagine if we’d… but I’m also _so_ angry. My one piece of happiness was just snatched out of my hands by my mother. And when he called here, I just saw red. For some reason I wanted to hurt him. Like all of this was his fault somehow. What the fuck is wrong with me?” Ivy began to weep silently.

“You did what you did because you were angry. Not at him, I know that. And I know you didn’t mean to do it. I don’t blame you, honey. I really don’t. Not one bit. You were angry and you lashed out because you learned that from your mama. It’s what your mama does and it’s what Mattie Fae does because that’s all they know. It’s how they were taught, and it isn’t right. But there is nothing wrong with you. Growing up, you were always a sweet kid.” Uncle Charles smiled. “And you were always sweet to him. You were the only one who showed any kindness towards him.”

“You did too.” Ivy smiled softly.

He chuckled quietly. “Yeah, well… I love that boy.” His voice cracked and suddenly burst into tears. Ivy felt her own tears rise again as she reached over and hugged Uncle Charles. They held each other, silently weeping at the loss that almost came about.

After a while, he pulled away first, wiping the tears from his cheeks. “I don’t care if he’s not my blood. I love that boy as if he was my own. He is _my_ son.” He stated, firmly. “He’s mine. I love him and I’m gonna take care of him until the day I die.”

“I know.”

They sat quietly for a moment. Uncle Charles was taking his time to gather himself and shake off the last of his emotional outburst.

“Anyway, I came by to let you know how he’s doing and if you want, you can go visit him.”

“I don’t know if I can face him.”

“I know it must be difficult right now, but it would help him greatly. For both of you.” He said. “He’s staying at Monument Lake Mental hospital.”

Ivy looked at Uncle Charles with slightly wide eyes. He shook his head. He knew what she was thinking.

“It’s just a precaution. He hasn’t been committed. It’s just mandatory for attempted suicides. “

Ivy sat quietly and whispered, “I’ll try.”

Uncle Charles nodded, “Sometimes that’s all you can do.” He left soon after, leaving Ivy alone with her thoughts.

tbc


End file.
